Momma's Boy
I am a single mother of a 14 y/o young man and I must admit
that I too must began to let go and let my son find out things
without me trying to protect him from the world because I do
still see him as my baby. But my question is how long should I
let him fall? I have worked hard to provide my son with things
without the support of his father, but it seems the more I try
to protect, the more defiant he becomes. He has even begun to
disregard his school work. He was placed in advanced level
classes and now he does none of his work no matter how
supportive I try to be. I only wish that my son will become a
successful person in this world and maybe someday take care of
his mother if possible, but at this rate it doesn't look too
good. Help me please!
EA
Dear Diva:
Have you told your son you love him today and have you given him
a hug. You are in fear with your
relationship with your son because of the fear you have about
men in general. You are putting a heavy burden on him to
be the man in your life and he is resenting the
responsibility. You should not depend on him or any man to
take care of you when you get older. Your well being is your
responsibility for the rest of your life. Treat you the
way you want your son to treat you. This is a fear based
relationship and very controlling on your part. There is a
saying to heal the child, heal the parent. I think it is a
good idea for you to get spiritual counseling. It is okay.
No one comes into this earth with directions on how to best
raise a child. You have depended on you soley to take on the
responsibility and now you do need help. Do the spiritual work.
Let go and let God with your son. Take the time to dig deep
inside of you to find the answers as to how you feel about men.
I will assure you, you are treating the men in your life the way
you son is treating you. Children present to us our
deepest and darkest stuff.
Take the time to love and honor yourself. See yourself as
having done a fine job raising your son. And get rid of the
guilt and shame of having to raise him alone. Get rid of
the anger, resentment and fear towards your father and his
father. He does love you and he does care about you. But it is
very important that you help you son and not enable him. The
best way to help him is to help yourself.
Healed Single Mother,
Diva
Ms. Wright Finds Mr. Wrong?
Dear Diva,
I am a mother of three beautiful boys. Yes, I am a single black mother,
but
sometimes it feels like I have help-the father is around. He
come's and go's as he
pleases. I want to keep the door open for my children, but I
want him to be a
better father. He says things like, he wants to be there, but he
can't because he
does not get along with my family and the town. Where I stay the
young males are
always fighting, shooting, and ganging, and he say he does not
want part in that.
I really do respect that, but then to, he doesn't come around
two and three weeks.
I love him, and he tells me that I am the one he will marry. But
he has to
girlfriends in the town he works. He tells me all the time that
no one will want
me with three kids, and now I am starting to believe it. What is
a girl to do?
Ms. Wright
Dear Diva:
You and those beautiful boys deserves the very
best your spirit has to offer. The only real and true
relationship that you will every have is between you and God.
Depending on a Man to find you happiness is the quickest way to
unhappiness. To err is to be human. It is now time to honor
yourself and honor your boys by focusing your energies on
providing a better way out of no way. Love is a verb. It is an
action. If he is not financial, emotionally and physically
supporting your endeavors of raising health boys, then he does
not love you nor the boys. Even so, he is the father of the
boys, so let them see him as long as the relationship bears some
form of productiveness. The boys know if they father loves
them or not. In your case, you think love must hurt to be real
and that is not true. Love honors, respect and makes you real
good all the time. When true love is around it does not hurt, it
empowers.
Him telling you that you will not find a man
with three children, is not love. It is control. I know a
sister with 6 kids by another man who found love because she
believes she is worthy and started looking for love inside of
herself. So, the divine Diva manifested it in the physical. So,
associate with good people. Take you and your children outside
of your surrounding to find your peace. It may mean moving
to another state or place. You do not have to settle or believe
what other believe about you.
Say this chant over and over until it becomes
apart of you and I know you will create a different life for you
and your boys. Your boys are depending on you to show them how a
man is suppose to treat a woman. The example that you are
exposing them to are not healthy. It is your responsibility to
teach them better. You can do it, you must do it.
I am a dynamic diva and I deserve the very
best that life has to offer: a healthy relationship with me and
for me and my boys.
I love you,
Diva
How
Did You Go from a Good Credit Rating to Homelessness?
I listened intently to the radio interview
about how you went from
homeless to millionaire in about a year and a half until you hit
he part about
your credit rating. First, I do not understand how someone "homeless" can
have an excellent credit rating. Secondly, what do you do if you have
"less than
perfect credit", no assets, with a net worth in the negative numbers?
How does one proceed to turn her life around then? Thank you.
Sheila Murray
Dear Diva:
Great question and thank you for asking!
Most people today are one to two paychecks away from
homelessness. I am not an
anomaly. Many people do not talk about it because most people
are in this
predicament and are afraid to face this reality. So, it is very
easy for a college
educated women with a master degree and poor money habits to get
into financial
perils. Even Tyler Perry, was homeless before the success
of Madea.
How many paychecks are you away from poverty? You calculate how
much your monthly
expense are and divide it by how much money you have in your
saving or emergency
funds account. Let's say you have $5000 in you saving account
and you monthly
expenses are $2500.00. This means you are 2 months away from the
poor house or
homelessness ($2500/$5000. If you do not have a saving account
or emergency fund today,
you are in deep trouble. And you need to get my book, today!
This email could not share the info. completely. Go to my
website and read the
excerpt from the book Dynamic Diva Dollars for a better
explanation. Go to the
www.dynamicdiva.com/tools.html and click on the
icon, under the book
description,
Excerpts
from Dynamic Diva Dollars.
If you really, really want to understand how I did it, get your
copy of Dynamic Diva
Dollars, Wealth Chants, and Good Debt Riches. All these books
share legal, ethical
tricks I use to acquire wealth. Some of the books are soon
to be
released. So, sign up for my free Diva E-zine . I will let you
know about all of my new products soon. You
can purchase Dynamic Diva Dollars at
www.thedynamicdiva.com/tools.html.
Prosperity to ya,
Elon
I have been married for 30 years but I never got involved in the business aspect of our marriage and now my husband is chronically ill and I am panicking. Can you offer any suggestions on how I can find out where to begin looking into our business affairs, for example, savings, will, tax returns, etc?
Panicking in Texas
First and foremost, during this very trying time, I want to send you my prayer that divine spirit is with and your husband.
I encourage you right now to take a breath and give yourself the opportunity to love your way through this situation. Please choose not to panick but instead pray with the purpose of knowing that everything is going to all right. You are never given a task that you are not equipped to handle. Rejoice, this is your opportunity to “grow” up financially.
Diva, you are not alone when I say that like you, many women ,including myself, have been conditioned to believe math and money matters are not a girls best friend. We should depend on the man of the house to handle our finances.
Well, you have the power to change your condition by adopting a new thought. You are capable and qualified to handle your finances. Believe this and you will achieve it.
Here are the necessary steps you need to take to get control of your finances:
- Develop a Wealth Conscious- have a positive attitude that you can handle your finances.
- Get your finances in order- locate all of your financial paperwork.
Update your financial statement, budget, retrieve 2 year tax returns and get an up-to-date copy of your credit report. Go over your will with an attorney, review life insurance papers, get a power of attorney and hopefully you have a healthcare power of attorney incase your husband become incompacitated.
- Seek the assistance of a competent financial advisor that can help sort out this information and can best educate you on how to handle you particular situation.
Once the dust settles regarding these matters, I would purchase two books, Wealth Chants and Dynamic Diva Dollars from www.thedynamicdiva.com These dynamic duo of books will help you develop a prosperity mindset and help you get your finances in order by teaching you financial techniques that will help you not only financially survive but thrive!
In the meantime, I will continue to pray for you and your family.
The Dynamic Diva
If you have questions you would
like to Ask The Diva, send your emailed question to
askthediva@thedynamicdiva.com
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